Pandemic and Pregnancy: Leading Up

It’s taken me a long to time mull over how I would talk about #2’s birth story. There were a lot of moving parts, and I’d like to think waiting so long to share this has given me perspective. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Picking up from the last post, the world shut down in March 2020 when I was about 6 months pregnant. The next three months were spent battling the competing roles of full time mother and full time employee in a home where my office, my bedroom and my 2nd baby’s nursery were and would be all the same thing.

While my branded work shirts shrunk around my belly, I found one good reason to be grateful – virtual meetings never show that part of me so no need to spend money on maternity works shirts that fit the company’s dress policies. Bonus!

What my co-workers saw every day

What my family saw every day

Note: this picture is one of the few from the past year of working from home where my hair and make-up were done AND I had earrings in! Like, where did this even come from? Most days my hair was tossed up in a bun with no volume or cuteness whatsoever and regular makeup wearing is a thing of the past.

When I hit 37 weeks, my OB ordered an ultrasound to check on the growth of my child. My first child was large and born in an emergency C-section, so they wanted to be sure my second wouldn’t put me in the same situation. I wanted to attempt an unmedicated vaginal birth and wanted to know what I was in for – so we went in for an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech estimated my child would be around 9lbs at birth but told me that the estimate could be off by a pound in either direction. Which basically told us nothing about my baby’s size except that he was a little larger than average.

After see the results, my OB was no longer supportive of me attempting a vaginal birth and heavily encouraged me to schedule a C-section. This led me to do a deep internet dive into VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Caesarian) and I found the VBAC Link . I am convinced every mother, even first time mothers and mothers who have never had a C-section should come read their blog. Julie and Meagan are amazing! I even got to talk with both of them on the phone while I was doing my research. Talking with them and reading their content gave me the confidence and the drive to move forward with my original birth plan.

Getting my OB on board was another story. It seemed like everything I asked her for was a big deal and the WRONG thing to do. No matter what it was. She went from being totally supportive of my plan to flipping a 180 on me. I had to really learn how to advocate for myself and ask for what I needed.

After a little back and forth, she begrudgingly agreed to let me induce labor a week before the due date, using a Foley bulb instead of breaking my water. (If you want to learn more about this type of gentle labor induction you can learn more about it here)

The night before I would go to be induced I put my 1st to bed and went to a nearby park to think, pray, and prepare myself mentally for the next day. I was so scared.

I was afraid I was making the wrong choice about inducing. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to give birth naturally, or vaginally. I was afraid to end up on a operating table again and being in so much shock I didn’t even want to see my baby when he was born. (Luckily for me, I was allowed to bring two people with me into labor and delivery. I know many moms were not so fortunate during this past year.)

I walked around the park for a bit and then sat on a hill and watched the sun set for the next 45 minutes. While I watched, I prayed. I prayed to God for peace, assurance, and safety for me and my sweet unexpected child. I prayed that I would be able to give birth to him with minimal intervention and that we would both be safe and healthy through the process.

I also spoke to my son on that hill and gave him a little pep talk – we were going to do this together, and if felt right to have him on board and hyped up as well.

#mother #god #Pandemic #prayer #Pregnancy #birth #mom #faith #hope #PersonalHistory #COVID19 #familyhistory #workingmom